Nine Inch Nails - Broken

Nine Inch Nails – broken

Neil drove along the Parkway, headed toward Vintage Vinyl in Fords. I sat in the passenger seat, staring out the window at the trees that sped by, leaving a ghostly trail of green in their wake. Neil and I have been traveling for nearly a half an hour without speaking a word to each other. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, though. It was more of an understood arrangement by which we would both just enjoy the sound of the wind that rushed past our open windows.

I turned to watch him. He looked content as he weaved his way through the cars before us. My heart began to ache with the dull pain of longing for him. Today was our last day together, before he had to go back to college in Massachusetts. I knew I was going to miss him, but I struggled hard not to think about it until the moment was upon us.

Sensing my gaze, he turned to me and smiled. My frown instantly turned upside down and became an open, wide smile. He took a momentary glance at the road ahead and turned to face me again. He broke the silence: “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Just thinking about tonight.”

He once more stared at the road. His jaw tensed up a bit, the way it always did when he was in emotional pain. “I know. Let’s not think about it. We still have a couple of hours left to hang out.”

Changing the conversation, I asked him for a cigarette. He gave me the pack and I lit one for each of us. I gave him one and I smoked the other one. Looking out the window again, I managed to see a flock of geese taking off from the ground and flying away into space.

We arrived at Vintage Vinyl and parked the car in their extensive parking facilities. We entered the record store and I immediately saw Donna behind the register. I turned to Neil and I whispered: “That’s my friend Donna. She goes to school with me.”

Neil’s jaw dropped. He whispered back to me: “She’s beautiful. She’s really cool. I love her hair.”

“Yeah, she’s really nice too,” I replied.

We walked past the register and waved at her. She smiled and waved back at us. Neil and I split up and began browsing through the store. I headed over to the Industrial/Techno section, while Neil checked out the New Releases.

I was flipping through the CDs and I came across a CD that made me freeze in my movements. It was the new Nine Inch Nails album! I slowly pulled it out to get a better look at it. It was titled broken. My heart began to beat faster. I had to have it! I’ve waited so long to hear new material from Trent Reznor’s Nine Inch Nails. I couldn’t believe he finally put something out.

I spun to find Neil, but he was already approaching me with the same CD in hand. I smiled as he came up to me and said: “It’s about time! I was beginning to wonder if he was ever going to do another record.”

“I know, man” I began. “It’s been three years since Pretty Hate Machine came out. Then Trent Reznor began hanging out with the Ministry crowd. You know, Pigface, 1000 Homo DJs, and The Revolting Cocks. Anyway, I though he was giving up on the Nine Inch Nails thing, but it seems he didn’t let us down. I wonder what it sounds like. It’s probably hard like Ministry. I just hope those guys don’t overtly influence him. He had a pretty original musical style. I sure hope he didn’t fuck it up.”

“C’mon I’ll buy it for you,” Neil offered.

My heart elevated. “Really? You don’t have to…”

“I want to.”

“I don’t even have a CD player, though.”

“Then we’ll get it on tape, Stooge”

Discarding the extra CD in the Bruce Springsteen section, we walked over to the counter behind which Donna stood. She smiled at us. Then she looked over at me and her face became a bit more serious,

“How’s your leg doing, Dave?”

“Much better. I’m off the crutches. Now it only hurts when it rains. How have you been?”

“Pretty good,” she said as her hand flicked away at a stray lock of her fiery hair. I was instantly reminded of the haiku that one child wrote to another in Stephen King’s IT: Your hair is winter fire/ January embers/ my heart burns there too. I must have been silent and staring a moment too long, because she then looked a bit embarrassed and asked: “So, what can I get you?”

“Uh…Yeah! Do you have broken by Nine Inch Nails on tape?”

Before I had even finished, she had reached over and fished out a copy from a large, prominently displayed stand on the counter, two inches to my right.

“Gee,” Neil said sarcastically, handing Donna a twenty. “Don’t know how you managed to overlook that.”

My face was on fire as Donna rang up our purchases.

On the way back up the Parkway from Fords to Montclair, Neil popped in the tape and we waited for the music to begin, our pulses quickening. While we waited, I glanced down at the track listing. It listed only six songs: 1) “pinion” 2) “wish” 3) “last” 4) “help me i am in hell” 5) “happiness in slavery” and 6) “gave up.” Pretty short album, I thought. After we listened to the entire tape, we were surprised to discover that it was even shorter than we expected.

It turns out that “pinion” was just a short musical intro to “wish.” And “help me i am in hell” is a very short and atmospheric guitar chord progression that serves as an intro to “happiness in slavery.” So, what we were left with were only four songs crammed into one side of the tape, leaving side two completely blank. I thought it was a waste of tape, but Neil thought it was pretty cool.

Basically, broken is really and E.P. and musically, it’s very good and satisfying. But, Ministry’s influence on Trent Reznor is quite blatant. “wish” and “last” are very heavy, guitar-oriented tracks. “last” even borrows the same guitar riff from “The Power Of Lard” by the Ministry and Dead Kennedys side project Lard. “wish” is also reminiscent of the Black Sabbath’s “Supernaut” as performed by the other Ministry side project 1000 Homo DJs, on which Trent Reznor supplied the vocals.

“happiness in slavery,” “last” and “gave up” sound a bit more like material from Nine Inch Nails last album Pretty Hate Machine. I remember that NIN performed “happiness in slavery” on their last tour, so I was already familiar with that track. “gave up” is the best track on the tape, though. It is hard enough to feel powerful, yet it retains the dance-oriented sound that marked past NIN classics like “Head Like A Hole” and “Get Down Make Love.”

Lyrically, the songs are slightly different than those on the last album. On Pretty Hate Machine, the hate and anger that Trent Reznor vented was aimed at outside targets, such as God and other particular people in his life that screwed him over. On broken, the anger and hate are directed inward. The entire tape is filled with self-hatred and doubt. This makes for dramatic songs that tear at your own self-confidence. His unflinching examination of his shortcomings makes you question your own morality and self-esteem.

Don’t get me wrong; this isn’t whiny, depressing music. This is true, aggressive angst that pummels your ears, as it drives wedges into your psyche. It made for great music to listen to while I was trying hard to ignore the fact that my best friend was going away. In fact, Trent’s pain and hopelessness made me feel a bit better about my situation in life. Hey, at least I liked myself.

The rest of the way home, Neil and I discussed the theme of the album and the new direction NIN’s sound had taken. What we didn’t discuss was the fact that he was leaving in less than a half-an-hour.

We arrived in front of my house as the sun was setting. He pulled over neatly to the curb and cut off the engine. We sat in the car in silence again, fearing that the time had come to say goodbye.

I tried to delay it. “Do you want to come in? My Mom’s home, but it’s cool. We can have a soda or something.”

He smiled a smile that I knew concealed a massive amount of pain. We both knew that it hurt to let go, yet we both tried so hard to conceal it in the stupid hope that it would make things easier. It didn’t help at all.

“Nah. I can’t. I can’t really stay at all. I got a long ride ahead of me. Nearly six hours of dark roads and Dunkin Donuts.” He was silent for a moment, and then added: “Thanks for everything, man,”

“Thank you. Thanks for driving down to see me. Thanks for the great times we had. Thanks for getting me the tape. Thanks for being such a great friend and letting me be a part of your life.”

A tear curled up at the edge of his eye as he whispered: “David, you are my life.”

I reached for him and pulled him closer. “And you are mine. I love you.”

My eyes closed as our lips met.