Travel the World for Next to Nothing

 

FACTORY

Travel the World for Next to Nothing

The Courier Air Travel Handbook by Mark Field

 

            Today hasn’t been a good day. I got up at 8:00 am to be at work at the drugstore by 9:00 am. The only problem is that I was out last night until 5 am. Consequently, I was dead tired, and it was a horrible day at the drugstore. We received more shipments than usual, and I had to check them all in by myself.

            I was supposed to get off at 2:00 pm so I could stop home and eat before rushing to the video store for work at 3:00 pm. I didn’t get off work until 2:30, so I had to run home, clean up, not eat, and run to the video store.

            At We Got Movies, the customers were extra rude; the last VHS of Car Wash was skipping so badly we couldn’t watch it; I was sleepy; and I got put down by Allan and Tommy because I was a “confused ” and not gay like they are. But the worse part was that I had to work six painful hours with my ex-girlfriend of five years, Jennifer. She tried to be civilized to me, but there were moments when she bared her claws and ripped my heart to shreds. I listened to depressing music while I worked with her, so it was unbearable. There were also two arrests that happened almost in front of the video store.

            After work, Anthony, Patty, and I decided to go out to the Pipeline and have a good time. No dice. A bunch of frat boys had taken over the club and were wrestling on the floor with a sex doll. The DJ purposely played shitty music to get rid of them, so I didn’t dance. After a half-hour, I wanted to leave. But Anthony wanted to stay, so we got into a fight. I left both him and Patty behind and I walked out. Let them find their own way home.

            Outside, the gorgeous, but taken, Amanda came up and offered me a joint. I took it, but it turned out to be only a roach. I tried smoking it, but my lower lip got burnt and it began to blister.

            I got in the car just as Anthony and Patty ran up to it. They apologized and I let them in. Anthony wanted to score some smoke, so we had to stop by his house to get his connection’s number before I could drop him and Patty off at her house.

            But when we pulled up in front of Anthony’s house, I saw my friends Herbie, Kenny, and Ronald were hanging out on the porch. They treated me rudely and indifferently. Ronald even cursed me out for hanging out with his ex-girlfriend Patty. It really hurt, but I tried to ignore it.

            I dropped the kids off and drove home around 3:00 am. On the way home, I thought of all the bills I had to pay and all the papers I have to write. It began to rain hard, and I totally lost it.

            I passed my house, got on the Parkway, and wound up down at The Indy office. I forgot that since resigning as A&E Editor I no longer had a key, so I couldn’t get inside. I sat on the floor in the hallway, back to the door, and wondered how my day could possibly get any worse.

            I looked down and noticed there was a slim package sticking halfway out from under The Independent’s door. I pulled it out and saw it was addressed to our new A&E Editor, Luigi Sgambettera. Luigi won’t mind, I kidded myself as I ripped it open. The package contained a slender read book. The cover read The Courier Air Travel Handbook, but the words that caught my eye were “Learn how to travel world-wide for next to nothing.” I opened it, and what I read inside changed my life forever.

            Author Mark Field gives you step by step instructions on how to become a courier. This basically means you transport legal materials from one place to another. You carry stuff like books, files, computer discs, documents, etc. You pay only a small fraction of the airline fare, and you can travel the world. For example, usually you’d pay $1,000 for a round-trip ticket to Hong Kong; but if you agree to carry a bag of computer chips with you, you can travel for $200.00.

            This sounds amazing! This is what I need to escape my miserable life. I will become a courier! A world of excitement is waiting to be had. That’s what I’ll do. I’m outta here!

            I’m taking this book with me, so if you want to be free and travel the world- I’m sorry, my brotha. You must get your own. The book costs $7.95, but it’s a small price to pay for the excitement of world travel. You can pick it up at a fine bookstore near you; or through Thunderbird Press, 5930-10 W Greenway Blvd, Suite 112B, Glendale, Arizona 85306.

            This summer leave your lousy lives behind and join me on my travels around the world. Coming next fall: Factory International.